As I sat reflecting on this week it dawned on me that so much has happened across the last 7 days personally, professionally and in running. Generally it has been a very positive week; I finally decided on and booked my Spring marathon - Brighton (more on that to come in a blog soon), I am fortunate to love my job and whilst this week has been very busy it has also been extremely rewarding, and my running seems to be settling quite nicely to a consistent level which I know I can build on. There are still a few personal challenges that have been rearing their head, and amid the positivity there have been moments where I have sat and just wished I could fix/change certain things going on... but I have to try remain focused on what I can control. 

MONDAY: my usual Strength and Conditioning class was cancelled tonight due to a flood, however I was still able to take part in Body Pump and get my strength fix. I also had an exciting meeting. In recent weeks I have been working as a coach for Lincs Injury delivering further Wednesday night Strength and Conditioning sessions for fellow runners, and we met to discuss future plans. My background is in sports coaching and being able to combine this with seeing runners progress has been a real highlight since getting back from Australia. I feel I have become part of another running community.

TUESDAY: a steady morning 5 miler averaging 8.26 min/mile pace. The niggle in my ankle from last week was still apparent at the start, but the uncomfortable sensation faded quickly; hopefully it is sorting itself out?!

WEDNESDAY: on Tuesday night I had got home late after watching the mid-week Lincoln City F.C. match (which is where I work!) and this meant I did struggle to get out of bed early this morning to run. I had evening plans again with work though, so knew if I wanted to run I had to get out there. I logged another steady 5 miles, averaging 8.23 min/mile pace. At work we had visitors from Poland spending time with my colleague and I on a study visit, so in the evening we took them out to see the wonderful sights of Lincoln! It was another late night with some wine consumed and I already knew that setting my morning alarm for a run was a little optimistic... 

Despite developing a mysterious ankle niggle/injury/issue (I am not sure what it is!), this week has a been a good week for running. I have pushed myself a little more at times, just for fun really, and have also exerted a bit of self disciple to listen to my body too - testing myself in both ways. This week has also ignited my excitement to start training again in a few months time!

MONDAY: Strength and Conditioning for Runners followed by a Body Pump class

TUESDAY: this week I wanted to try and add a bit more pace to my mid week running, not a lot, but just enough to add a little more stimulus for my mind and demand on my legs. This morning's early  5 miler involved a long hill to begin with and then trying to keep pace afterwards. I like creating challenges like this every once in a while and I recommend it if you want to mix up your running a little. 

WEDNESDAY: another 5 miler, however this run naturally turned into a progression run as with each mile that passed I simply felt I could give a little more. I was really pleased to finish with a 7.37 min/mile split without it feeling too much like I was killing myself! 

THURSDAY: after two good runs today was the complete opposite. My 5:30am alarm went off and I was awake, dressed and out ready by 6am. All was good until I took my first step. My left ankle felt painful instantly, like a twanging feel radiating from the calf/soleus into my foot. It hurt every time I pushed off the ground. As I had felt nothing in the days before or even as I had been walking around my house beforehand I hoped the pain would just ease and might be stiffness. I plodded slowly along, but the pain remained and rather than fade seemed to shift all over my ankle. I made it to 1 mile, stopped, realised this was stupid, turned around and plodded home. I was not too upset - if I had been in marathon training then it would have been another story! Instead I was more puzzled and curious as to why it felt like this, especially as later when walking to work it was absolutely fine. I even went to a Body Pump class later and again felt absolutely nothing. I started to think I had imagined it all, but I promise the pain had been very real when running!

FRIDAY: Rest Day - and a lot of ice and compression applied to the ankle. I still was not sure what was wrong, but figured this would do no harm. 

There has been one main thing which people have been talking about this week - the London Marathon ballot results. Even if you did not put your name into the draw, chances are you know someone who did. My name was in the proverbial hat, and this week I received my rejection email and magazine - a double whammy! I will admit in previous years I have hung a lot on running the London Marathon, and rejection has been hard to take. This year though I am fine with not having a place for 2019. I am fortunate to have experienced the magic of running London three times, in 2015, 2017 and 2018, and was there as a spectator in 2016 to see my friend conquer the race. Each year has given me treasured memories which I will keep for the rest of my life; it feels almost selfish to want more. This year's London Marathon was particularly special too as I got to share running the race with my friend for the first time, and my Mum and Dad were also on Tower Bridge; hugging them mid race and sharing an absolutely exhausted embrace with my friend at the end made every single one of those horrendously hot steps worth it! Let's not forget the heat - I think I need another year just to get over the feeling of intense heat radiating from the London tarmac too! I have a Good For Age place for 2020 - I feel that this will be the right time for me to run through the capital again.

Aside from the London Marathon fanfare, this week has been a little mixed for me. I felt like I was there with recovery, but I think this week has highlighted that whilst I may be being kind to my legs in terms of demands and mileage, I cannot neglect other areas just because I am not in training mode. My energy levels this week have been poor, so sleep and nutrition are my focus going forward. 

MONDAY: after Sunday's Hedgehog Half Marathon I felt a little fatigued today, understandable at this point I think, but managed a double session of Strength and Conditioning for Runners and then Body Pump.

TUESDAY: my tiredness lingered today, so I kept my morning 5 mile run very easy, almost like a 'shake out' run as people like to call it!

WEDNESDAY: whilst I have got into a habit of running early, today my morning alarm was a struggle. I went out later than I had planned so squeezed in a quicker 4 miles. The miles were not as quick as I would have liked though, as my energy levels felt low and I was noticeably hungry, which is never a good feeling when exercising. 

THURSDAY: a better run; 5 miles at 8.11 min/mile average pace followed by a Body Pump class in the evening. 

It is 7.30am on Sunday morning. I am sat hiding in my car at Normanby Hall Country Park, trying to seek shelter from the harsh freshness of an Autumnal morning. My alarm had woken me at 5:45am and I have already driven nearly an hour alongside the rising sun to get here. I am sat swigging Lucozade Sport from a bottle and watching as the car park around me fills with equally mad people munching on bananas and pinning pieces of paper onto their chest. It is race day. However, this was a race I nearly did not run, that was until I reframed what a ‘race’ was in my head.
 
I entered the Hedgehog Half Marathon months ago after taking part in the parkrun also held at Normanby Hall. It was such a beautiful place that when I saw a big banner advertising the October event I was instantly sold. I also thought that following the Sydney Marathon in September I may be feeling a bit lost and it would be a good way to combat the post marathon blues. Things have been different post Sydney though, and I have actually been enjoying running, but not taking things too seriously. In the days leading up to the race I therefore found myself debating whether I really needed to 'race' a half marathon. Did I have the desire to push myself? Were my legs actually recovered yet in order to do myself justice? Was it worth running if I knew I was not going to be challenging a PB? With my mind flipping from one moment wanting to run, to the next thinking it was a stupid idea, two things happened. Firstly, a work colleague said they wanted to come support me, which touched me and made me think I ought to run; I told myself that I would probably be heading out for 10 miles on a Sunday anyway. However, my biggest realisation was why did I think I had to 'race' the half marathon? Could I not just enjoy a 13.1 mile run? Did it really matter what time I ran as long as I enjoyed the experience? Why not just relax and have some fun running in a new event? My focus shifted, and I was ready to tackle the ‘race’ in a different way.
 
When I bravely ventured out from my car in my vest and shorts, trying not to show how cold I really was, I did so with zero pressure or expectation - it felt good. A relatively small crowd of nearly 500 runners huddled at the start line outside Normanby Hall and I stood chatting to a lady equally as underdressed as myself. Us runners are definitely mad at times! The start gun pierced the air and stopped our conversation – time to run.
 
I had not really looked into the course too much; I never do and do not like obsessing over a hill at mile 5.2 or whatever! I knew we would be running some of the route the Tour de Yorkshire Cycle Race follows though, so my sporting knowledge told me it would be hilly. As I began running I did not look at my watch and simply ran to feel; I did not want to know or particularly care what my pace was. I really enjoyed the first 7 or so miles, I was just running totally free through quaint villages and open countryside, with pockets of small and enthusiastic supporters bringing a smile to my face. The route so far had meandered up and down a little as I had expected, and whilst I was pushing myself more than if I had gone out for a solo Sunday run, I felt happily in control.
 
My sense of freedom was put to the test between miles 7 to 10, when the route suddenly became a lot more challenging than I had anticipated. These three miles were virtually entirely uphill, with long drawn out climbs punctuated only by sharper little peaks. I knew I had slowed but I was doing so in order to manage the terrain, and when not chasing a time this did not really bother me. My mind did dance with the thoughts that maybe my legs were not up to this though; was I silly for even challenging myself, should I just slow right down? I would not have enjoyed that though, as strange as it sounds I like to feel a bit of pain! So I kept ticking the miles away - whilst praying for some downhill or even just flat road!

Physically I think this has been the first week since the Sydney Marathon and landing back in the UK that I have felt almost 'back to normal'. It has taken a while, even though by my standards I have been quite disciplined with my recovery. Mentally I am not yet back at the stage where I want to be pushing myself too much when running; I am very much in 'running' mode rather than 'training' mode. I know I need the break though and it is not something I am particularly concerned with right now - I even debated not running the half marathon I had entered for this Sunday. I did find myself on the start line though, but with a fresh focus it felt a happy place to be...

MONDAY: a double session of strength work due to work commitments later in the week, starting with Strength and Conditioning for Runners and ending with Body Pump. 

TUESDAY: I lacked a bit of desire to run today plus had a slightly sore quad muscle (probably from too much strength work!) so kept it short and steady, logging 4 early miles at around 8 min/mile pace.

WEDNESDAY: my quad was still a little tight, so I opted for an easy 5 mile run just to try loosen it off, which actually seemed to help. 

THURSDAY: I felt like a little more of a challenge today, but did not think I could rely on my own motivation to push the pace. Instead I included some hills in my 4 mile route - nature's way of testing myself! Body Pump class in the evening. 

FRIDAY: Rest Day

SATURDAY: it was parkrun's birthday today - 14 years since the event started at Bushy Park (which I am determined I will go and run one day!) It was grey, wet and miserable in Lincoln and probably more remarkable in these conditions is the fact that hundreds of people now chose to spend their Saturday morning running and volunteering every week at Lincoln parkrun - and indeed across the world! I could write paragraphs about the benefits of parkrun and even more about what it has added to my life, but I think this article sums it all up quite well - BBC News - it is so much more than just a run. Back to today's effort - the main positive was it felt a million times better than last week's return to action, however I still managed virtually the same time - 21:37. I am not 'training' in the week so not expecting to suddenly running sub 21 minute 5ks again, and that does not matter. The happiness I get from running with others and chatting to familiar and new faces each week overrides that. ​